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    January 20

    游戏人生.....

      我越来越看不透我自己,我到底想要什么?得到了反而又犹豫了,现在的生活就是梦想中的生活那样无忧无虑,像理想中的幸福,但是我为什么还是不确定?
      我不知道为什么你能容许我和你在一起心却在天涯的另一方;不知道为什么你能容许我的眼睛里演得全是我和他的电影你仍然对我笑;我不明白为什么我明明是无理取闹你却能那样的容忍我;不明白为什么你能全心全意地为了我改变你的一切--尽管你知道这些对于我来说都是无力的;不明白为什么你要那么认真地告诉我:“他亏欠你的我全部都给你补回来,我一直在这里等你....”;不明白为什么你偏偏在这个时间出现,你明明知道我在耍脾气,你明明知道我这个时候根本不会理会你对我的好;你傻啊!是我不小心,不自重,不明白,不理智选择了这样的一个过去,尽管我不想回忆,尽管我想尽情享受你对我的好,享受由你连带的每一个人对我的好,但是我不能不回忆,不回忆了还是我么?我不想这样伤害你,请你离开我,至少现在,离开我.......
      我曾经以为这样是一种解脱,我曾经以为这种感觉很快就会过去,但是 事实要比想象差很多。但是我自己肯定我们回不去了,我不再反复,不再去尝试那样的生活,尽管全世界都是他的影子,那我也告诉自己,把今天的自己放在明天的生活中,我接受不了......
      可是我不能以这样的状态,这样的心情去接受你,曾经他对我不公平,我不能对你不公平......请给我时间....接受你的好,但是现在,请......离开.....

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